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Follow Their Lead
Table of Contents
Join their world - topic, pace, starting point - before trying to steer.
Key Concept
- Skip their starting point and you are fixing a problem they were not naming.
- Listen Before Fixing names the same timing rule: understand first, redirect second.
- Connection first, critique second - run their play once before you offer yours.
- The redirect lands better once they know you actually understood their version first.
Level 1 - Recognize
Follow their lead means starting where they are - connection before correction, not fixing a problem they never named.
Level 2 - Explain
Like trying their recipe once before you rewrite it - running their play proves you understood before you redirect.
Level 3 - Use
Listen, run their version once, then offer your fix - the redirect lands after they know you heard them.
Level 4 - Connect
Because connection precedes correction, critique before understanding kills trust even when the fix is right.
Level 5 - Create
Create a feedback sequence that starts with their version, proves what you heard, and earns the right to offer a redirect they can shape.
Examples
- My teammate wanted an inbound play I had never seen - glad I ran it once before I told him how I would do it.
- A coworker walked me through how she tracks patient callbacks - I watched the whole spreadsheet before I offered to reorder her columns.
Note Relationships
| Relationship | Wikilink | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| contradicts | Safety Comes First | when following them would allow serious harm |
| extends | Process Over Outcomes | Small moments of attention beat one perfect conversation |
| extends | The Golden Rule | I would want someone to enter my world before they fixed mine |
| implements | Continuous Improvement | Trust builds through repeated small acts of attention, not one grand gesture |
| implements | Emotional Regulation | I hold the urge to interrupt, correct, or take the wheel |
