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Listen Before Fixing
Table of Contents
Listen before fixing - repeat what you heard, then respond. Feeling heard comes before being helped.
Key Concept
- I repeat what I heard before I prescribe.
- Repeating what I heard keeps advice from landing like a correction.
Level 1 - Recognize
Listen-before-fixing means repeat what you heard in your own words before you tell someone what to do.
Level 2 - Explain
Like repeating the story your friend just told before you give advice, playback proves you listened, not just waited to talk.
Level 3 - Use
Mirror what they said in one sentence, pause, then respond - playback buys trust for whatever you say next.
Level 4 - Connect
Prescribing before the other person feels heard lands like correction - advice without playback feels like dismissal, and trust spends down.
Level 5 - Create
Extend the order into Follow Their Lead and Gentleness - Safety Comes First is the exception when delay would let harm continue.
Examples
- A younger player kept explaining why he missed the free throw - glad I almost jumped in with form tips and stopped to hear him first.
- My kid told me about a fight at school - I caught myself lining up a lecture and stopped.
Note Relationships
| Relationship | Wikilink | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| contradicts | Safety Comes First | when waiting to hear more would let harm continue |
| extends | Follow Their Lead | Listening is how I stay in their world before I steer |
| extends | Gentleness | Hear before you prescribe - gentleness in conversation |
| extends | People-Centered Design | Hear the need before you ship the fix |
| extends | Shadow the Work | Listening plus watching the real job |
| extends | The Golden Rule | I would want someone to hear me out before they fixed me |
| implements | Emotional Regulation | I hold the urge to interrupt with the answer |
