Interactive graph
Name the Feeling
Table of Contents
That sounds frustrating lands before the fix plan - name the emotion so nobody is guessing.
Key Concept
- “That sounds frustrating” before “here is what to do.”
- Naming the emotion lowers defensiveness so the fix can land.
- Listen Before Fixing comes first - hear it, label it, then steer.
- Skip the label and I am guessing at the problem while they are still proving I did not get it.
- That sounds frustrating lands before my fix plan.
- I name the emotion so we are not guessing.
- I say that sounds frustrating before I hand them a fix plan.
Level 1 - Recognize
Name-the-feeling means label the emotion in one sentence before you hand someone a fix or to-do list.
Level 2 - Explain
Like nodding at a friend who is upset before you suggest a fix, that sounds frustrating lands before here is what to do.
Level 3 - Use
One sentence of empathy buys permission for the fix - skip the label and you are correcting, not helping.
Level 4 - Connect
Name-the-feeling validates emotion before prescription - otherwise advice lands like dismissal even when the fix is right.
Level 5 - Create
Start with Listen Before Fixing and name the emotion. Extend into Emotional Regulation or a fix only after the label lands.
Examples
- A player slumped on the bench after a bad quarter - glad I said “you look wiped” before I drew up the next play.
- My kid came home furious about homework and naming the unfair feeling beat jumping straight to just do it.
Note Relationships
| Relationship | Wikilink | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| contradicts | Complete the Cycle | when naming the feeling becomes a substitute for closing the loop |
| extends | Emotional Regulation | Naming helps me and them before the spike drives the reply |
| extends | Listen Before Fixing | I hear first, then label what I heard |
| implements | Break the Escalation Cycle | A calm label can cool a thread before snark stacks |
