Reconcile Before the Review
Table of Contents
Reconcile before the review - fix the relationship before OKRs, demos, or reorg meetings.
Key Concept
- Fix the relationship breach before OKRs, demos, or reorg meetings.
- Process does not heal a broken trust link.
- The person who knows there is a breach moves first - a short call, an owned apology, a specific repair - then we talk OKRs.
- Same order as Reconciliation Before Worship, minus the religious frame: relationship before ritual performance.
Level 1 - Recognize
Reconcile before the review means repairing the relationship rift before performance reviews, demos, or reorg meetings - relationship before agenda.
Level 2 - Explain
If you and a coworker are not okay, fix that first - like making peace before you sit down to score the quarter.
Level 3 - Use
Text your business partner after a blowup over a missed invoice - ten minutes of repair, then get on the client renewal call together.
Level 4 - Connect
Because unresolved hurt poisons feedback, reconciliation precedes evaluation - the scorecard cannot substitute for peace or process without repair.
Level 5 - Create
Build a pre-review breach check from Reconciliation Before Worship: the person who knows there is a rift owns it, repairs it, then opens the scorecard.
Examples
- Strong stats for the scout meeting but my assistant coach was still cold from Tuesday - glad fifteen minutes with him came first instead of hoping charts would smooth it.
- The client renewal call was booked but my business partner and I had not spoken since our blowup over a missed invoice - I texted him first, we talked ten minutes, then got on the call together.
Note Relationships
| Relationship | Wikilink | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| contradicts | Golden Rule at Work | when I want fair treatment but will not initiate repair |
| extends | Listen Before Fixing | Repair starts by hearing what still hurts |
| extends | Note Relationships | Broken links between people need face-to-face repair like broken wikilinks |
| extends | Reconciliation Before Worship | Relationship before ceremony - here, before the review or demo |
| extends | The Golden Rule | I would want someone to fix the rift before judging my performance |
| implements | Follow Their Lead | Coffee first - go on their thread before the slides |
